Our Worst Enemies….
The worst enemies of anyone who suffers with mental illness are Guilt… Shame and Regret.
All of these emotions are blood sucking enemies because they waste so much of our precious energy and they never let up… These three emotions have followed me all of my life… up until NOW… I finally gave them all the BOOT in this last year… Since I am 56 years old… that is a very long time to have hosted these evil things that have held me hostage and abused me endlessly.
For me… it took coming to the end of my rope… I simply could not hang on anymore… I was tired… exhausted actually… frustrated… angry… and completely defeated… One morning I woke up and said… ENOUGH… I can’t take anymore… It has been a LONG process but one that I am so GRATEFUL I was actually able to complete.
There is nothing wrong with feeling sadness about events and situations that have occurred in our lives… and it is silly to say that we should never feel badly or regret something we have done… but most people get over it… pick themselves up and continue on… with a brand new slate… that is simply how we grow and learn.
We all make mistakes… we all do wrong things sometimes… but hanging onto the feelings of anger or disgust with ourselves is a very BAD place to be… It robs us from STARTING over… and keeps us prisoner to a world with NO HOPE.
Forgiving ourselves and being gentle with ourselves is a very difficult process… at least it has been for me… and I have been a very slow learner… but it is the KEY to mental health wellness.
I have a friend who has experienced the same problem of carrying guilt… shame and regret… and in the middle of a terrible dark place that we were both in… I decided to make an imaginary solution… I told my friend that I baked her extremely poisonous muffins… and ex-lax coated chocolates to keep in her fridge to OFFER her evil visitors the next time they came calling… we have often joked about this and little by little… we found a way to get rid of our guilt… shame and regret… by supporting and encouraging each other… It is not easy… but adding humour to our situation… gave us HOPE.
The next time guilt or shame come calling on YOU… bring out the muffins and chocolates… and tell them to have a nice day!
~ Momma Bear
Safe Haven 